Poetry & Pictures

The Ting Tings - That's Not My Name (Alternate)

2012-01-30T04:47:00.000-08:00

2012-01-29T12:34:00.001-08:00

I got a new tattoo.

Garbage Returns!

2012-01-29T10:57:00.000-08:00

2012-01-28T18:35:00.000-08:00

Our unseasonable warm winter is giving me mini roses in January

Last January, I had sex for the last time since. I had gotten so bored with dating, sex, and men that it was basically a last ditch effort to see whether or not I had it in me. I wish I could better explain the way I was feeling, but it was a frustrating combination of mistrust, disappointment, and the inability to find anyone I connected with.

I went on a date with a man that I had been dating off and on for the past ten years. He was handsome and chivalrous, but simple and uninteresting. We had Chinese then came back to my apartment for a couple of glasses off wine. We fooled around that night, and then again in the morning, then I took him home and I was completely certain that I didn't need to do that again for a very long time. I did go out on one more very disappointing date with a very persistent person in February, but that didn't go any further than dinner and conversation.

So, my point is, I haven't had sex in over a year and I don't have any desire to other than masturbating once before bed if I'm not too sleepy. This celibacy adventure initially began as a test to see whether or not I can go without something I had so easily given away during my entire 15 years of being sexually active. I had taken it for granted and never treated it as something other than fun between two adult men (and a few women). I started with the thought that I would, in the future, not have sex outside of a relationship anymore, but given the fact that I don't have any desire to even date anyone, it turned into this weird sort of bliss in the absence of wanting.

There are many different interpretations of what Heaven is supposed to be like. From solid gold mansions, to unlimited sexual pleasure with a slew of virgins. Now, I don't believe that Heaven exists. I believe that when your synapses stop firing, you basically just stop. However, when I was a born-again Christian in my teens, I gave an awful lot of thought into what Heaven was, and I came to the conclusion that it is an absence of want or need. Your habits are gone, you don't miss your family, you aren't hungry or thirsty, and you have no need for companionship.

I am not in Heaven. I still love my family, friends, and food. I still watch a small amount of porn if I need a little something extra to get me off before I fall asleep. I still smoke cigarettes and watch the Kardashians. I still go out to drink and dance to shitty pop music. I still like taking pictures of my penis, but, I have no desire to date or have sex with anyone and it feels damn good.

It isn't something I share with anyone besides close friends, of course, because not a lot of people understand what I mean. Hell, I'm not even sure I understand this feeling. I once told a close straight male friend of mine, and he had the nerve to ask me if was because I was just unsuccessful at trying, to which I responded, "I got you to show me your dick, didn't I?" That shut him up. I am charming, interesting, and mildly attractive. So, to make it clear to anyone with the same question... I could find someone of quality to fuck in a heartbeat if I wanted to. I just don't want to.

I know I don't have many readers of this blog, and even fewer who would even read something this lengthy, but of those few, some of you are extremely intelligent and worldly, and I would love to read some of your thoughts.

GLEE - Full Performance of "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'" airing TUE 1/31

2012-01-27T11:14:00.000-08:00

NASA SDO - Aurora; What Causes Them?

2012-01-25T15:35:00.000-08:00

2012-01-24T22:03:00.001-08:00

My Mommy

2012-01-22T16:43:00.001-08:00

Star Wars Uncut: Director's Cut

2012-01-20T18:31:00.000-08:00

Oh. My. God.

The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face

2012-01-19T04:33:00.000-08:00

Evolution

2012-01-19T04:13:00.000-08:00

If you don't have at least a small amount of trust in the hundreds of thousands of people who have devoted their lives to the sciences that contribute to the theory of evolution, than you are part of what is holding the human race back from it's full potential.

The Temptations - 'Papa Was A Rolling Stone'

2012-01-17T04:25:00.000-08:00

2012-01-15T13:40:00.001-08:00

Culture Club - Karma Chameleon

2012-01-07T18:47:00.000-08:00

Reba McEntire - He Gets That From Me

2012-01-06T04:34:00.000-08:00

2012-01-05T17:59:00.001-08:00

2012-01-05T17:07:00.001-08:00

On the Old Front Porch just came on, which of course reminded me of Tiptoe Through the Tulips, which of course reminded me of that damned dancing boy in Insidious, which OF COURSE made me pee a little bit.

Who the hell knew I had Tiny Tim in my iTunes?

Matchbox Twenty - 3AM

2012-01-05T15:07:00.000-08:00

Eminem - Cleanin' Out My Closet

2012-01-03T04:43:00.000-08:00

2012-01-02T22:55:00.000-08:00

Getting really fucking tired of only being noticed when people need something from me. One day I'm going to disappear and start life brand new and all alone. They only ask how I am or what's going on as a pleasantry on the way to spilling out all their damned problems. Maybe I'm just a magnet for the fucked up? Swear to God, I just fucking SHOW UP and people start spewing their bullshit on me.

Also, people need to get some fucking perspective. Unless you were born in a third world country, and you don't have clean drinking water, your "problems" aren't that serious.

Celebrity Crush: Karl Urban

2012-01-02T22:41:00.000-08:00

Just listen to him speak... ORGASM.

Game Trailers - E3 2012 - Movies and TV

Cupid

Caeser

No.

James McCoy

Took my camera into the bath with me yesterday...

2012-01-02T11:17:00.000-08:00

Like a French Katy Perry

I still can't go underwater without holding my nose

Give a boy a camera, he will most definitely take photos of his penis

2012-01-01T11:20:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year

I’ve decided to save my resolutions until 2013, in case of the apocalypse and/or zombie uprising.

If the world is going to end in December, I don’t want to waste my last year on earth NOT eating whatever I want.

2011-12-30T16:28:00.000-08:00

"Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience.

Our problem is that people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of leaders…and millions have been killed because of this obedience…Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves… (and) the grand thieves are running the country. That’s our problem."

— Howard Zinn

Janet Jackson - If

2011-12-30T16:11:00.000-08:00

Some classic shit.

Amanda Beckett would rather see the world from a different angle.

2011-12-30T13:30:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday night I went out to celebrate a friend's birthday... First to a gathering at her apartment, when a young gentleman I have previously lusted after made several sexual advances towards me. If I were a lesser man, I would've taken that handsome, thin, geeky young gentleman home and tapped it like a maple tree.

Searchin' for some syrups.

Afterward, we went to a dance club where a very longtime friend of mine decided to drunkenly profess his love for me and stole an awkward kiss at the end of the night. I was too drunk and confused to protest, so I smiled, then came home, vomited and went to sleep.

I hate vomiting. I haven't done that in years, but I was in a really celebratory mood and the vodka was tasting SO good.

nine inch nails: piggy

2011-12-29T18:24:00.000-08:00

The Killers - Read My Mind

2011-12-27T15:22:00.000-08:00

The only tweet I've ever favorited.

2011-12-24T14:05:00.000-08:00

Glee - My Favorite Things

2011-12-24T10:42:00.000-08:00

To all the men I've loved...

2011-12-21T15:02:00.000-08:00

This guy looks exactly like my first Staff Seargent in the Marine Corps. Same hair, same build, same body hair… I wish I can remember his name. Anyhow, we were really close. I can still feel his big hands around my tiny waist, helping me do pull-ups. I can still see his hairy, meaty thighs and the huge bulge in his tiny green PT shorts when I was sitting on his feet, holding his legs down during his sit-up routine (back then we did full sit-ups instead of just crunches). He must’ve noticed me staring at it… Those shorts were so small I used to focus all my energy on the thought of his penis somehow escaping the confines of his jock and snaking out along one of his thick, furry legs. He never said or did anything about it, though, and he was always very playful with me, expecially in uniform. He would grab me around my waist and gently jerk me around, telling me that’s how he would manhandle his girlfriend. I used to straddle my pillow and jack off while imagining I was on top of him. These days I’m almost a total top, but back then I would’ve begged like a little bitch to have that beautiful, tall, cocky, hairy man fuck me until I went numb from the waist down.

photo source

Judy Garland - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

2011-12-21T05:07:00.000-08:00

Happy Hanukkah!

2011-12-20T21:51:00.000-08:00

"I'm crazy like the rest of them, but I'm crazier when I'm next to him."

2011-12-20T21:33:00.001-08:00

Gloria Estefan - This Christmas

2011-12-19T04:10:00.000-08:00

2011-12-18T19:59:00.000-08:00

Rep Chris Murphy's BRILLIANT speech to Lowe's regarding their cowardly pull of advertising from a television show about Muslim-Americans because of the bigoted Florida "Family" Association's complaint that it wasn't showing enough terrorism. Using their logic, I vote for more drive-bys on That's So Raven, George Lopez has to be taken into custody by the ICE on a very special episode of his eponymous show, and drug-filled, unsafe gay sex on Glee.

Remember the Sabbath, and keep it holy.

2011-12-18T17:24:00.000-08:00

Sarah McLachlan sings John Lennon's Happy Christmas

2011-12-10T22:21:00.000-08:00

Kelly Clarkson - I'll Be Home For Christmas - New Orleans - 12/13/09

2011-12-10T12:52:00.000-08:00

Jason Mraz - Winter Wonderland

2011-12-10T10:16:00.000-08:00

The Most Wonderful Day of the Year (Glee Cast Version)

2011-12-09T10:07:00.000-08:00

All I Want For Christmas is You (Black and White)

2011-12-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, Darling - Karen Carpenter

2011-12-07T05:25:00.000-08:00

Glee - ABC/Control/Man in the Mirror HD music video

2011-12-07T04:55:00.000-08:00

Celine Dion-Oh Holy night

2011-12-06T05:15:00.000-08:00

OBEY

2011-12-05T19:43:00.001-08:00

2011-12-05T12:03:00.000-08:00

Faith Hill Where Are You Christmas

2011-12-04T21:27:00.000-08:00

Oh, it's just me, Laura, and a giant yellow PETA condom.

2011-12-03T18:52:00.000-08:00

2011-12-03T14:13:00.000-08:00

Am I the only one who sees super-fucking-pretty guys doing porn and thinks, "oh honey, you're too good-looking to be getting fisted by a huge man with a pierced penis."?

Glee Cast - Survivor / I Will Survive (Glee Cast Version)

2011-12-03T13:38:00.000-08:00

Vince Gill - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

2011-12-03T12:27:00.000-08:00

I'm just a glorified moth.

2011-12-03T12:04:00.000-08:00

Britney Spears - 'Love 2 Love U'

2011-12-02T19:34:00.000-08:00

With a crazy ass sample of La Isla Bonita!

Nikki Minaj - 'Roman in Moscow'

2011-12-02T19:30:00.000-08:00

Amy Winehouse - Me & Mr. Jones - Live HD

2011-12-02T19:01:00.000-08:00

It's from another world.

2011-12-02T18:52:00.001-08:00

Haley Reinhart, Casey Abrams - Baby, It's Cold Outside

2011-12-02T05:16:00.000-08:00

Jewel - Joy To The World

2011-12-01T04:35:00.000-08:00

GLEE - Full Performance of "I Kissed a Girl" airing 11/29

2011-11-30T21:17:00.000-08:00

Tori Amos - A Silent Night With You

2011-11-30T04:52:00.000-08:00

2011-11-29T21:38:00.000-08:00

Santa(na) Baby!

2011-11-29T18:16:00.000-08:00

iPhone Photo Phun!

2011-11-28T18:11:00.000-08:00

Mom brought me some peaches! Yum! I wish I could save them for pies and cobbler, but I'll end up just eating them straight out of the jar!

Autumn has hit the outside of my apartment complex with a vengeance.

My homemade wreath... Flashy, huh?

This was going to be my Christmas card until someone told me this was yet another Lady Gaga look. Damn, that bitch does everything, doesn't she?

My apartment's on top!

Jessica Simpson - Happy Christmas duet Ashley Simpson / Christmas Specia...

2011-11-28T05:25:00.000-08:00

2011-11-27T21:37:00.000-08:00

2011-11-26T21:36:00.000-08:00

I'm Lady Gaga

2011-11-26T21:07:00.001-08:00

My homemade wreath

"Play Gloria Estefan"

2011-11-25T21:35:00.000-08:00

Glee Cast - Baby, It's Cold Outside (Glee Cast Version)

2011-11-25T12:52:00.000-08:00

Christmas Music Season has OFFICIALLY STARTED!!!!!

The Nephew's Thanksgiving Outfit

2011-11-24T21:34:00.001-08:00

Love After War

2011-11-23T16:22:00.000-08:00

Jordin Sparks - Battlefield

2011-11-23T16:02:00.000-08:00

Divas on divas

2011-11-23T04:58:00.000-08:00

All I got from this was that Britney Spears is a retard.

2011-11-22T15:55:00.000-08:00

Haven't posted a dirty photo in a while... You're welcome.

FoosBALLS

I was doing so good with the weight loss, but I got lazy. Hopefully I can pick it back up after the holidays.

BROKEBACK TWILIGHT TRAILER

2011-11-21T20:45:00.000-08:00

Happy 46th Birthday, Bjork!

2011-11-21T04:50:00.000-08:00

Samantha Barks - 'On My Own'

2011-11-20T19:22:00.000-08:00

2011-11-20T19:10:00.001-08:00

"Psychedelics are not illegal because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out the first story window, psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve phonic structures and culturally laid down novels of behavior and information processing, they open you up to the possibility that everything you know is wrong." - Terence McKenna

2011-11-19T04:15:00.000-08:00

My World-Famous Super-Chunky Green Bean Casserole was a hit yesterday at work!

2011-11-18T16:35:00.000-08:00

BRITNEY SPEARS Sweet Dreams

2011-11-18T16:33:00.000-08:00

"They only gave her the gummy bears. I'd wished they'd only given me the gummy bears."

2011-11-17T18:05:00.000-08:00

The best cure for a sick day?

2011-11-17T15:08:00.000-08:00

Making an apple braid with my little helper!

Bradley Cooper > Ryan Gosling

2011-11-17T11:54:00.000-08:00

Sorry, but sexy isn't formerly of the Mickey Mouse Club and spray tanning within an inch of your life.

Doucheface Gosling ISN'T sexy, he was just in a Nicholas Sparks movie that got all your vaginas dripping and now looks like he stares at himself in the gym mirror. Gross.

THIS.

Christian Phrases with Bryan Blake - 51 words for vag***

2011-11-14T18:03:00.000-08:00

2011-11-12T10:37:00.000-08:00

Wow. I'm so shocked that a culture which pads it's children's heads and shoulders and then tells them to smash into each other as hard as they can is putting their game above the notion of protecting young kids from sexual predators. I'm SO shocked.

/sarcasm

Rumour Has It / Someone Like You (Glee Cast Version)

2011-11-12T09:48:00.000-08:00

Hells yes... Now, I love Mercedes, and she kicks ass at everything she does... But Santana should be the only one on Glee allowed to touch songs by Adele.

Dominic Cooper is my new crush. Hard.

2011-11-11T20:49:00.000-08:00

I fell so fucking hard in love with this photo... It is my new desktop background.

I know Dominic Cooper is only about four feet tall, but that still wouldn't stop me from going all Leprechaun in the Hood on his gorgeously perfect butt. Seriously, it is the thing that turns bottoms into tops. Men from straight to gay. Women from women to gay tops. I want to place red roses around it and just marvel at it from every angle all the while convincing myself I'm worthy enough just to touch it.

Check it out at !! omg blog !!

"We can rebuild him... We have the technology."

2011-11-11T14:06:00.000-08:00

2011-11-08T04:52:00.001-08:00

Halloween III Silver Shamrock Commercial

2011-10-30T09:49:00.000-07:00

2011-10-23T17:43:00.001-07:00

I don’t think a lot of people realize that the absence of a coordinated, cohesive message/demand from the OWS folks is a good thing. TEA Party activists and politicians are required to sign onto some kind of a contract with a specific set of ideals they have to adhere to or they're eaten alive.

This turns them into nothing but a tool for the architects of the contract.

Glee - Run The World (Girls) - FULL Scene

2011-10-03T13:47:00.000-07:00

Glee - You Can't Stop The Beat (Official Full Performance)

2011-10-03T06:54:00.000-07:00

Brittany Murphy - Somebody To Love (Music Video)

2011-09-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate

2011-09-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

2011-09-14T21:12:00.001-07:00

Bigots would rather see their gay kids miserable enough to kill themselves (true story) then allow them to see a transgendered man on television. Someone who could show them that even though their parents are ignorant cowards, there are others out there just like them and communities that will embrace them. It does get better, even if your family does their worst to prove otherwise.

2011-09-03T21:53:00.001-07:00

Why do they keep updating superheros' costumes to look like something a gay man with a severe leather/cosplay fetish would design? None of these new costumes look like you can even move in them... FURTHERMORE, why are the stars all bulking up to play these parts? Isn't the point of being a SUPERhero that you don't need all these muscles to do what you do? I miss Christopher Reeve and Michael Keaton.

TV's Andy Levy Apologizes To Chris Brown And His Fans

2011-08-24T04:01:00.000-07:00